Issues #6-7 featured a Mexican wrestler (ever wonder why there are SO MANY stories about Mexican wrestlers - check out the podcast) attempting to regain his family’s honor by fighting (and unmasking) Spider-Man in a wresting ring (there’s more to the story than I really want to go into here). The story was o.k. – in fact, it’s one that I liked a LOT more when I re-read it for the purpose of this review than when I read it the first time. It is notable for among other things (1) the fact that David actually followed up on Mark Millar’s rather weird plot point at the end of Marvel Knights Spider-Man #12 where JJJ inexplicably believed that his son, John, was Spider-Man, and (2) Spidey’s newfound stingers (courtesy of “The Other”) came into play, inadvertently popping out during the wrestling match and disabling his opponent. Of course, regarding (1), there really is no satisfactory explanation, so David merely leaves it as Jonah being angry at Peter Parker for duping him, blowing hard about getting even, and then dropping the whole thing. However, Robbie, like the rest of us, is incredulous that Jonah bought that story – so, do you think that maybe – deep down, Jonah really knows that Spider-Man is a hero, but the only way he could reconcile that subconscious belief with his jealousy of and other problems (too complex to go into here) with the wall-crawler was believing, however fleeting and bizarrely, that he could be his son?

Now, there were plenty of good character moments in this short little story:

• I’m sure that good Spidey fans noted the little exchange with the wrestler in issue #6, where after a rather nasty kick in the ribs, Spidey weakly says “Never been hit so hard in my entire life,” and after luring the wrestler into a false sense of security, breaks into a Fleetwood Mac tune and calls his opponent a sucker for buying the “never been hit so hard before” line. Whether the writer is gently chiding JMS’ well known overstatement back at the beginning of his run on Amazing when Spidey claimed no one had ever hit him as hard as Morlun, or us because we fanboys made such a big deal of it – well, it doesn’t matter, it was funny.

• Issue #6 also set up what promised to be, and was ultimately not allowed to be, renewed conflict between Peter in his position as science teacher, and Flash, as athletic coach. Flash’s amnesia had wiped out much of the maturity that he had accumulated over the years (a lot more sensible retcon than a deal with the devil). This seemed an ideal way to involve Peter in stories about his students (who were young! young! satisfying that particular Marvel obsession), and re-energizing his relationship with one of the oldest members of his supporting cast. Great line when Peter complains to the principal about Flash’s hiring – “Roger, he’s brain damaged!” and the principal’s reply “like my high school coach wasn’t.”

• I also liked Jarvis’ propositioning Aunt May for a date in issue #6. It was just – well, aw hell, I’m gonna loose my Guy Card – sweet. Equally as funny was May looking for something else to call Jarvis by something other than just his last name – but after exploring the other possibilities (including variations of his first name – Edwin), the two happily settle on – Jarvis! That was another sad loss resulting from the One More Day/Brand New Day clusterf**k.

• Robbie’s great line when Jonah confronts the villain of the story “Jonah, antagonizing the large homicidal man might not be the best course of action.”

• In a good exchange before their relationship was forced down the crapper in Civil War Spider-Man and Iron Man discuss the implications of Peter’s new powers as a result of his death and rebirth in “The Other,” and that science and magic (or by extension, Faith) may not necessarily be mutually exclusive – although Stark less than artfully dodges the Evolution vs. Intelligent Design debate.

O.K. - here's an admission contrary to popular opinion - I liked the next story, which ran through issues #8-10 (as Peter David said when he guested on the podcast – “oh so you’re the one”). And to show what a hypocrite I can be, yes, I’ve bleated before many times how I don’t really care for Spidey stories that have a strong sci-fi slant, or involve magic (a clue as to what I thought of 2007’s Spider-Man and Red Sonja five-part snooze fest). BUT – I’m a huge sucker for time travel (if it involves the future in some form or fashion) and some parallel universe stories. I say some, because all too many of the What If stories are poorly done, with Spidey making an appearance only for the purpose of getting killed, like he did in 2007’s “What If” riff on Civil War. Also, I believe that this story only scratched the surface of the potential inherent in a cross pollination between the regular Marvel Universe and the 2099 Universe, since Peter David was the primary (and virtually the sole) author of Spider-Man: 2099 stories.

Just in case some of you are not familiar with 2099 (and yes, most of you are - just bear with me a minute), this was an additional line of comics that Marvel debuted in 1992 featuring futuristic versions of the classic superheroes who typically had no ties to the original superheroes, i.e. Spidey 2099 was a fellow named Miguel O’Hara who had no connection to Peter Parker. There were 2099 versions of the Hulk, Dr. Doom, the Punisher, Ghost Rider, the X-Men, and others set against the background of a future in which corporations ruled the earth, and a brand new clean, shiny New York City had been built above the “classic” New York, which was now called “downtown,” and was at the bottom of the scale, literally and metaphorically. And I’m not doing the concept justice. Peter David wrote Spidey 2099 for 44 of the 46 issues the title was in existence, and also the one shot team-up in which the Spider-Man of our time met the Spider-Man of the future (and also Spider-Man 2211 and HobGoblin 2211 – who appear in the Friendly Neighborhood story arc). In fact, here’s the cover that 1995 story. David left along with the other 2099 writers when the editor of the line was fired by Marvel during one of the implosions in the industry during that decade. The entire line was cancelled with the exception of one “World of 2099” title that supposedly was released to coincide with a video game (that never happened), and wrapped up with a final “Manifest Destiny” graphic novel that supposedly ended the story. However, as shown by a recent series of 2099 one shots a few years ago, Marvel still occasionally dabbles in that world.

Issue #8 begins in a past that we are all too familiar with, Peter coming home after a night of performing as Spider-Man only to discover that one of his loved ones has died. Rushing in, he finds Uncle Ben, who tells him that Aunt May had a tragic fall and died. So, before the initial credits, we know that we’re going to be dabbling in an alternate reality. After May’s funeral, as Ben worries about how he will manage things, include the family finances, Peter tells him that won’t be a worry, and reveals that he is Spider-Man, the entertainer (in this reality May died by way of an accident and not during the commission of a crime), and that they will have no money worries. In fact, he makes Ben his manager, since, after all, the checks have to be made out in the name of someone who can cash them (in reference to the infamous moment in Amazing Spider-Man #1). We have to suspend disbelief just a bit since no one seems to question why Spider-Man the celebrity has an old man in Queens as his personal manager. Much like in the other alternate realities we’ve seen where Spider-Man becomes a celebrity rather than a crime fighter (most notably in the first volume of What If, issue #19), Peter becomes self-absorbed and indifferent. He has continued to live in Forrest Hills at Ben’s insistence, but has grown tired of being forced to maintain the façade of an ordinary existence, and weary of the older man telling him that he should use his talents for something more constructive. So, he tells Ben that he has signed with a talent agency and will be moving out.

As time passes, it becomes apparent that Peter has become so beholden to his celebrity and fame that he doesn’t even bother to return Ben’s phone calls. One night, as Ben is walking back from a showing of the latest Spider-Man movie (fans should appreciate the irony of Ben coming out of a theater showing Spider-Man 4, and commenting that it was a lot better than the previous one – even though this story was written long before the debut of Spider-Man 3 - and then there’s the Star Wars riff), rather than finding his house, he finds the burned out shell of one (remember, the Molten Man wannabe burned down the Parker home after Amazing Spider-Man #517). An inquiry of two passing cops does nothing to answer Ben’s question, but is enough to tell us that somehow he has crossed some sort of dimensional threshold and is now in the Marvel Universe that we are familiar with. When he visits a certain graveyard, he sees his own tombstone instead of May’s, and when a strange figure on a glider offers to take him to his family, Ben willingly agrees.

Now, I don’t often imagine myself a writer of a Spider-Man title (other than that rather silly Reboot Speculations article I did many years ago, which is just a clean up of something I did for the old Hero Realm when George Berryman challenged everyone to come up with a way to fix the Spider-Man titles after the Reboot Horror of 1999). For one, it has never been a career objective. There are a lot easier ways to make a living. And I have no illusions about being as good or better than the folks being paid to do it because guess what – I’m not and never would be. End of story. That said, if I were on a title, I would love to have a divergent tale where some of the characters in the Spider-Man Universe, for example, Peter Parker, Norman Osborn, Doc Ock, and maybe some others, are accidentally catapulted into one of these futures for a longer period of time to where they actually have to make adjustments and live there for awhile. Would they be forced to cooperate to survive in a world where their skills are obsolete? Or would someone like Osborn, for example, still have enough savvy to manipulate and conspire into a position of prominence in any world that he inhabited? And the thing about time travel is that the characters could spend any amount of time in that future – and yet when it came time to return them to the present – they literally could return one minute after they left, and therefore create zero conflict with anything else going on in the other Spider-Man titles at the same time (of course, something like this would not work in the current 3 times a month Amazing publication). Sadly, this sounds all too much like fanboy fiction, and derivative of that abortion of a cartoon Spider-Man Unlimited in which the premise was Spidey going to Counter-Earth pursuing Venom and Carnage and fighting talking animals who walked upright. Like I said, I’m not a writer or an editor and it’s a damn good thing.

Issue #8 ends with Ben finding Spider-Man courtesy of HobGoblin 2211, who arranged Ben’s transfer to the Marvel Universe. Most of issue #9 is set in the 23rd Century, where the surface of Earth appears to be devastated and the occupants of this world live underground. We learn that HobGoblin 2211 is the daughter of Spider-Man 2211 (her name is Robin Borne, but her childhood name is “Hobby” hence why she’s the HobGoblin even though she wears the Green Goblin’s colors) and a researcher at a future Empire State University fascinated by alternate realities (in fact, her father’s primary job is as a time traveler, a guardian of the time stream). And then, holy shades of the movie Minority Report, her father comes to arrest her for crimes that she hasn’t committed, but will commit due to a suit that she is constructing that will be able to allow her cross realities. She is imprisoned by suspension in a virtual reality, but the methods her boyfriend takes in busting her out (a virus to disrupt the computer programming) drive her irrevocably mad, so she now spends her “time” traveling (that was awkward) to various times and realities attempting to kill the various Spider-Men and fighting her father as he tries to stop her.

At the end, our Spidey nabs one of Hobby’s “retcon bombs” (love that idea – it actually showed up in the one-shot a decade earlier) and hurls it back at her. Of course, our Spidey doesn’t realize just how damaging this type of pumpkin bomb really is – as it not just explodes – but removes HobGoblin 2211 from reality. Just like Peter and Mary Jane’s marriage at the end of “One More Day,” she now never existed (damn – wonder how many “One More Day” references I can sneak in here? And it’s not even intentional – it seems to overshadow everything right now).

Cut to “Uncle Ben,” he has no luck convincing Aunt May that he is the real thing (sort of) and starts getting a little belligerent (understandably), earning a sock in the jaw from good ole Jarvis. However, Ben’s more skilled at the art of bare knuckle brawling and flattens Jarvis. May is appalled, and Ben realizes that there really is no place for him in this world and sadly walks away. Ah – but his story isn’t over yet, as he meets a mysterious stranger (is there really any other kind of stranger?) who offers him a gun to what – commit suicide – kill someone else? We then see Ben back at May’s grave, and Spider-Man 2211 offering to take him back to his own reality – but Ben shoots him dead! Yet, back to the alley where Ben met the mysterious stranger we see what looks like Ben, dead from a gunshot wound! Holy paradoxes – what just happened? There are two Bens now? Well, even though Peter David indicated that he left clues all over the place, I was too dense to pick them up (such as the second Ben’s reference to “blending in”, and the fact that Ben knew the Spider-Man offering to take him back to his own time was from 2211). Unfortunately, the story did not conclude until 2007 – and then David was forced to combine it with another story as the One More Day/Brand New Day reboot was already in the works.

O.K. – deep breath – spent a lot more time on exposition than I intended, but that’s what happens with these time travel/parallel universe stories. Now, as I mentioned before, I liked this story because it dealt with a subject that fascinates me and introduces us to a future that we want to know more about. And while Spidey doesn’t really need any more Goblins in his rogues gallery, at least this was a unique spin on the old tale, with a mentally disturbed woman under the garb. 2099 fans may recall that when Peter David introduced a Green Goblin into that series, it was intended to be a woman, a character called Father Jennifer, a priest who was also the sister of that Spider-Man’s slain girlfriend. However, due to the change in editors, and David’s own resignation from the title, that whole situation was completely botched with the Goblin revealed as Spider-Man’s brother, but then that was retconned in Manifest Destiny. David indicated that he had not devised a background for HobGoblin 2211 when he debuted the character in the 1990’s, and that making future Hobby a woman had nothing to do with his original intentions for the Green Goblin – it just worked better for this particular story. And for “homage fans,” the covers to issues #9 & 10 are very recognizable nods to some classic Goblin/Spidey covers.

You also can’t help but snicker at some of the little inserts here and there into the dialogue:

• When the Spider-Man of the alternate reality (the entertainer Spidey), tells Ben how the anonymity of the costume empowers him, he speculates about a future with rooms where people can chat with each other anonymously, and since no one is using their real names – “be real jerks to each other for hours!”

• The HobGoblin tells Spider-Man 2006 that his life was chronicled over a period of decades in a serialized, gaudy illustrated format.

• The Goblin’s ghoulish sense of humor as he recreates Gwen’s death for Spidey, including a line that goes “Gwen stay! See?”

However, unlike long story arcs that feel like they should have been a lot shorter, this is a story that more could have been done with. I wasn’t really happy with the ambiguous ending not because I thought that David didn’t intend to adequately resolve it – but because of the current comics environment, where publishers are continually switching creative teams and because one mega event keeps flowing into the other disrupting whatever storylines are in progress – I didn’t have faith that we would get a satisfactorily resolution – and we ultimately didn’t. For example, I wanted to know more about the 23rd Century and why the denizens of that time frame are living underground, and more about Robin’s theories and ambitions that eventually resulted in her arrest. Also, Spider-Man 2211 sees a horrid future if that alternate reality Uncle Ben isn’t returned to his own era (Spidey turns into a big spider and is about to eat the New Avengers), but there’s just a long way from Point A to Point B.

Issues 11-13 comprised another promising three part tale which brought back my favorite B-List Spidey villain – Mysterio. And it wasn’t just one Mysterio, but three – including the one who was dead! It also made effective use of Peter Parker’s day job as a high school teacher, was the first of the Friendly Neighborhood stories to reflect the events of the unmasking, and had a turning point in Peter and Flash’s relationship, as the latter has to face a reality that he never saw coming – that the man he has known for years and considered a weakling is really his hero Spider-Man. AND – yeah there’s more – Flash meets the new school nurse who gives us more than one hint that she might have something to do with whatever the hell sprung out of that cocoon at the end of “The Other.” That’s a lot to digest and in a good way.

The plot is that Frances Klum, who bought Mysterio’s equipment from the Kingpin in the final part of Evil That Men Do has decided to attack Midtown High School as part of his planned vengeance against Spider-Man for the death of his brother in the aforementioned miniseries. However, as he monologues (thank you The Incredibles), he is being watched by a mysterious stranger (no relation to the mysterious stranger in the previous story). Meanwhile, Peter Parker’s outing as Spider-Man has turned Midtown High into a media and protest zone, as parents are claiming that his presence there puts their children in danger (well, yeah, I guess it does). He gives the school principal his resignation, effective the end of the day. His students, however, are seriously bummed out, but as they begin to air their disapproval, the school is enveloped in a black cloud, and soon there is a voiceover stating that all of the windows are wired to explode if anyone tries to get out that way – and that the front door is the only way out. Of course, since this is Mysterio Take Three, the entire school is rigged with projectors, ”hauntings,” and death traps to mess with everyone’s minds and sense of direction, so just getting to the front door is going to be an adventure.

Before this story is over, not only does Daniel Berkhart, the Mysterio from way back in Amazing Spider-Man #141-142 (February and March 1975), who took over for the original, Quentin Beck, after Beck faked his death the first time, and then after he blew his brains out for real (see the miniseries Mysterio Manifesto - discussed in Spider-Man 2001 Year in Review ) show up at the school – but someone claiming to be the original does as well. Except rather than the standard Mysterio green, this one is in red (the devil’s favorite color) and his cape is tattered. Spidey never faces this Mysterio, but the new school nurse, Miss Arrow does. As the picture leading off this review shows, this apparently IS the real deal – blown off head and all. How can he be back? Well, the story doesn’t quite make that clear. Beck talks in riddles as he tells Miss Arrow his story, that while he was done with life, life was not done with him, or rather, as he went to the place that all suicides go (does that mean Mysterio is Roman Catholic, believing that suicide is a mortal sin?), there were certain individuals who felt he could serve their needs. And he’s telling Miss Arrow this because? Well, when you’ve been brought back from the dead, I guess you develop a certain, eh, “sixth sense” about some people, which proves to be correct as Ms. Arrow shows off some stinger-sprouting wrists of her own when the Francis Klum Mysterio gets a little too pushy. However, before Beck disappears in a flash of hellfire, he tells Ms. Arrow that there is a great game going on, in which everyone must be in their place – and that Peter Parker must not leave the school – that “it’s not time,” and that “my superiors” want this. He tells her to work to keep Peter there – after all- her superiors would want that as well.

So what did all that mean? Who were Mysterio’s “associates” who apparently gave him some semblance of life after death and what is the great game he was referring to - the one that required Peter Parker to stay at Midtown High?

We’ll probably never know - what a shame. Like I alluded to with the “2211” story, open ended stories are annoying when you know they’ll never be resolved, and this story wasn’t during David’s stay on Friendly Neighborhood since he didn’t have the time before he was unceremoniously dismissed. It’s my guess that the “Peter Parker must stay” was devised by David as a way to keep the Midtown High School teacher subplot going even though after being outed, it realistically would have been irresponsible of Peter to continue as a teacher and he should have resigned.

I liked the characterization of the school principal, Roger – who although getting pressure from parents to fire Peter, states that because of what he has done as Spider-Man (and because he registered), he’s going to cover Pete’s back and resist the calls for his resignation. However, when Peter says he’s quitting anyway, Roger couldn’t be more relieved. I felt Roger had the ability to be a good supporting character, particularly when mediating between Peter and Flash during their disagreements. Unfortunately, not only was the entire school subplot eventually canned, but Roger went the way of too many members of the supporting cast over the years – but that’s next year.

My favorite line is when after Peter changes to Spider-Man, one of his students asks “Who’s doing this, Mr. Parker?” to which another responds “Dope! He’s not Mr. Parker now! You gotta call him Spider-Man – or Spidey!”

The interaction between Flash and Peter/Spider-Man was fun, being 45 years in the making. At first, of course, Flash is in denial because Peter Parker just can’t be Spider-Man. Now, secret identities, although a key part of the superhero canon, are silly and unrealistic because you would think that since Peter and Spider-Man hang around the same people (at Midtown, ESU, or the Bugle), and one keeps appearing the same time the other disappears, everyone would figure it out sooner or later. But Flash, like Jonah, is a special case. For one, Flash has a highly idealized picture of the type of person that Spider-Man has to be, more so than many of Peter’s crowd who really should have figured things out years earlier, like Betty, Liz, Harry, Gwen, etc. To Flash, it isn’t just so much that Spidey can’t be Peter Parker – he can’t really be anyone “normal.” His Spidey is a movie star, war hero, football quarterback, brother figure all wrapped up into one. Considering Flash’s tortured relationship with his alcoholic policeman father, Spidey was the ultimate big brother who he looked up to and wanted to pattern his life after. He wasn’t a fraud like his old man, who wore the uniform of a man sworn to protect and serve, but failed to do that for his own family. And the fact that Spidey always seemed to show up in the nick of time and more than once save Flash’s ass, just further solidified that perspective. Although taken to the extreme by hero worship, Flash Thompson was the first person to realize just how much of a hero Spider-Man was, how brave and self-sacrificing he had to be. The best story of the dreadful first 18 months of the two core Spider-Man titles after the 1999 Reboot was the two-parter (Amazing Spider-Man volume 2 #7-8 which featured Mysterio as the villain coincidentally) that was Flash’s fantasy of being a superhero in his own right who fought crime as Spidey’s sidekick. Even in this fantasy (which includes Flash marrying Mary Jane, and Norman Osborn as the Mayor of New York), Flash never gives his hero a face or an identity beyond that of Spider-Man – and why would he?

But Flash isn’t stupid. When the truth finally comes to him, it isn’t a loud “oh my god! I don’t believe it!” but a quiet moment of introspection, and perhaps some sadness as he realizes that his hero is a frail human being like himself, and not only that, but a man whom he treated as an inferior for years. And once that’s over, he rushes to Spidey’s side to help him against the Mysterios without giving it a second thought.

It’s a testament to Peter David’s talents that he was actually able to weave a story featuring the antagonists of two garbage stories, the Evil That Men Do, and The Other, that in all honesty, were better left forgotten, and the stupidity of Mysterio’s suicide, and actually made it all interesting.

Again, as much a continuity fanboy whore that I am, the reversing of the original Mysterio’s death is not something that I would object to, in much the same way I didn’t object to the Chameleon just “showing up” fine and dandy after taking a spill off a bridge in Webspinners, or Doc Ock being raised from the dead in a mystical ceremony. So, if as a result of the “One More Day”/”Brand New Day” clusterf**k, Quentin Beck just happens to show up alive and well and purged of the cancer that was ravaging him in the pages of Daredevil, then I tip my globe dome to him. I don’t even have to know how it happened – after all, it’s magic – no one has to explain it.

Everyone complains about the recent lack of “fun” in the spider-titles. Well, I think it would have been “fun” to have a year or two worth of stories dealing with Peter Parker (and by extension Spider-Man), as a public school teacher, dealing with the pitfalls and agonies of such a demanding job, and finding out that not even a superhero can cut through the bureaucracy that strangles our school systems. And one of the hallmarks of Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man was the humor.

In the final story of 2006 for this title, David brought back Debra Whitman, who hadn’t been seen in more than 20 years since Spectacular Spider-Man #75, and more prominently, Betty Brant, both ladies in Spidey’s past of whom I’m rather fond. We see their reaction to the unmasking, which is quite different than Liz Allan’s for example. Whereas Liz was angry and bitter, Betty was relieved, because now so much of the turmoil she had experienced in her life, including the continued presence of Spider-Man, made sense. But poor Deb, well, poor Deb just can’t catch a break.

Because of a desperate need for money due to her mother’s poor health and staggering medical bills, Debra is easy prey for a book publisher owned by J. Jonah Jameson who wants to do a nasty tell all book about Spidey. Using Deb’s understandable resentment of Peter (if you read the original issues from that time period, Peter did treat Deb rather shabbily. The worst moment was when after he came to her apartment for help and passed out after a battle with one of his foes, she bandaged him up and cooked dinner for him – and then he walked out without even giving her the courtesy of actually sitting down to dinner with her), the Bugle’s people distort her story into a book called Two Faced – How Peter Parker Ruined my Life. Deb comes to New York for a book signing, and Peter is determined to be there to give her a piece of his mind. However, if you’ve been following Civil War, you realize that Pete has turned on Tony Stark and is now a fugitive. So, SHIELD springs the Vulture out of the can and sends him after Spider-Man. Knowing his prey like he does, old Vultch figures that it’s a cinch that Peter is going to show up at the signing – and he isn’t disappointed. In the subsequent battle, just as Spidey is about to go another round with the old bird – the Vulture is defeated not by our hero – but by his own advanced age – suffering a debilitating stroke during the fight. Overwhelmed by guilt over what she’s done, Deb bears her heart to Betty Brant, who figures out a clever way to turn the tables on Jameson and embarrass him, but in a way that doesn’t compromise Deb, allowing her to keep the money that she was paid.

Whew – that was covering a lot in one paragraph. Key story points included:

• Following up on the “Peter Parker must stay” subplot left over from the Mysterio story, Miss Arrow actually presents a logical argument that it is actually irresponsible for Peter to quit, because no matter what, even if he does leave, the school and its kids will still be a target for the bad guys because they know of his attachment to the place, and will use it to lure him in – so why not stay and at least be there in the event that does happen? Not a perfect answer of course, but one that would have allowed the teaching subplot to continue. Of course, since then he became a fugitive, and thus could no longer teach as Peter Parker. So, using a projection device borrowed from the Beast, he could alter his appearance. And in a nod to another controversial time in Spider-Man history, Peter Parker applies for a job at Midtown disguised as a blond haired, goateed dude by the name of – Ben Reilly. He also uses this device to give scumbags the impression that the school is being watched 24/7 by the likes of Wolverine and the Punisher, all the more to deter potential attacks.

• Normally the Vulture’s stroke could be considered a deus ex machine, but it is actually key to one of the underlying themes of the story. In issue #15, we learn that part of what shaped Adrian Toomes’ world view is a brother who became a quadriplegic due to a motorcycle accident, and who became so embittered as a result that he wanted Adrian to kill him. The brother looked upon himself as weak and worthless due to his condition, and spitefully insulted Adrian, putting the seeds in his mind that the compassion he felt for his brother, regardless of his condition, make him weak and worthless as well. At the end, Spider-Man covertly visits the Vulture in the hospital and the Vulture asks Spidey to kill him – a wish that Spider-Man shockingly seems willing to grant by putting a pillow over the old bird’s face and smothering him. However, the Vulture learns to his humiliation after trying to fight off Spider-Man, who then relents, that his will to live was stronger than his desire to die.

• The bookstore that Deb signs at “Barnes and Barnes” is not just a play on Barnes and Noble, but is also a reference to the novelty rock group of the same name that includes a friend of David’s, actor Bill Mumy.

• Betty’s lecture to Deb at the bookstore illustrates just why Peter’s unmasking brought her a sort of peace. For years she couldn’t make sense of Spider-Man’s motives, why he always seemed to show up at pivotal moments of her life. But once she learned that Spider-Man was Peter Parker, then it all made sense. The art in the background as Betty tells her story succinctly illustrates just what a journey the character has been through all of these years, and how rich the Spider-Man mythology is. And also what a cheat it is to simply turn back the clock. Admittedly, there are limits to just how much you can progress your lead character before he either gets too old or gets painted into a corner. However, that is the strength of a solid supporting cast – because they can age (not too much out of sync with the lead character, of course), they can make life changing decisions and endure all kinds of personal upheavals, which then helps keep the overall story from growing stagnant, even though by necessity, some aspects of the lead character clearly has to be stagnant.

• Speaking of Betty, when the Vulture shows up at the bookstore and begins threatening Deb, Betty pulls out a gun and shoots the bastard. Of course, the Vulture is well armored and the shot does nothing to him, but damn, you just gotta love girls with guns and guts. Sigh. If Peter has to be single again, he could do a lot worse than hook up with Betty – but after their brief dalliance when she left left her husband Ned Leeds, and MJ rejected Peter’s first marriage proposal (back during Marv Wolfman’s run on Amazing Spider-Man circa issues #182-204 – there might be a little too much emotional baggage for either to feel comfortable about resuming a relationship.

• I mention that a certain Comedy Central show host makes a brief appearance at Deb’s signing, but I don’t want to mention him by name because he might put me on notice.

But since we’ve been talking about Peter David, let us mention one more Spider-Man story that he gave us in 2006, which proved there are limits to how much of a silk purse one can make out of a sow’s ear.

What If? The Other
My review of this title could be best summed up as What For? No one ultimately gave a damn about "The Other" the way it ultimately unfolded - so why did Marvel think anyone would care about an alternative ending? The best What If? stories are where we learn something new about a character when things don't go the way they normally would. . But - there really was no story to tell here. In “The Other” Peter died, faced some kind of giant spider god that told him to embrace the spider – then he was “reborn” bursting out of his cocoon. And not a damn thing was ever really done with it in the titles, but that’s neither here nor there at the moment. In this reality, rather than listen to the spider-god and embrace his inner spider, he rips its head off – and therefore never emerges from the cocoon. Cut to Ryker’s where the Mac Gargan Venom is incarcerated, the symbiote “senses” that something has happened to Peter Parker, something that would give it another chance to bond with him – so it abandons Gargan and finds the cocoon, inserting itself into it. Many months later, a regenerated Peter Parker bursts forth – but it really isn’t Peter. He is for all intents and purposes dead, and the symbiote has completely consumed him, and is the dominant personality. Calling itself “Poison,” it returns to Stark Tower (where MJ and May have remained all of these months) and attempts to bond with Mary Jane, replicating itself within her. She refuses at first, but then when the other Luke Cage and Wolverine come to her aid and are injured, she changes her mind – but tells “Poison” that while she will be part of him now, because of what it has done to Peter and will do to her, she will make every day a living hell for it. Whether there is a residual spark of Peter Parker left inside of Poison, or whether it simply realized that there was no point of having an uncooperative mate, Poison departed – but he wasn’t done looking for a woman. Even though the rest of the story was a waste, the ending had a ghoulish cool factor to it. Poison digs up Gwen Stacy’s body, replicates the symbiote within it, bakes it in a cocoon for awhile – and viola! Instant companion!

So what was the point because sucking another $2.99 + tax from me?

Some day I’ll learn.

NEXT TIME: Daddy’s Little Girl, a brief nod to crap I didn’t buy – as well as the Best and Worst of 2006. Yes indeed, it’s the wrap up. Maybe this means I’ll even get 2007 done before 2008 is over, eh? Knock wood.

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